功课好多，但却没有心想做咯！！哎。。这学期怎么了？？ 好像有很多事要解决，但。。。家里冷清清，就剩几个人而已，不像以前那么热闹了。。。这几天都很迟睡，熊猫也来找我了。。。哈哈。。。闷啊！！！！

唉！！ 好多天没上来乐，但也没什么重要吧。。。
唉！！ 在想，为何他只会说却不行动呢？？ 难道这么难吗？？ 今天一个朋友把我唤醒了， 他让我明白，我不能一直这样下去等“那个他”， 因为我和“那个他”是不可能了！！我必须醒啊！！“哪个他”已经遇到他的幸福，我也该祝福“哪个他”。。。虽然心里有一百个一千个不愿意放手，但现在已经不论到我说药方还是不要了！！如果我在这样下去，可能会伤害自己。。。安慰自己，~这世界上没有人非要另一个人才能活的~ 就算没有“哪个他”我的日子还是回过得很好。。加油吧！

today bz n bz, 1st time make me feel tat 24 hour in one day really not enuf, time run too fast until i cant catch...maybe is good, atleast i not have too much time to think too much...skul practical, program, assig...all come together...B alway sms me, until i feel so confuse..ai...x housemate go bec penang, house bcome silent again...feel sleepy, but after sleep, will be tomolo, so scare to face the coming day, why? i oso think funny leh, y i scare for the day of tomolo??

she really is a nice fren, she really care for me...except she, still got many ppl oso really care for me, i know...just dunnoe why, i still feel like our relation are far, got something between us...maybe its my problem, until today i oso can solve my problem...i'm not the nice ppl, tat can easy be fren with ppl, maybe oso can make ppl feel tat i suitable be their fren...just i feel must avoid me from hurt, not bcoz i not trust, just bcoz i hv the experien cheap by fren...i scare...really scare...i just hope can protect myself...

这几天和他都有联络，对他我要装着平常，真得很辛苦！！唉！！功课来了，要选实习的地方。。。但我的好朋友既然不管我！！有点心痛，因为他和他朋友在一起。。。很想去kl,希望真的能去。。。真的好烦啊！！ 很想闭上眼，什么也不想的，但不想就能当这没东西吗？？自己想要什么，我也不清楚。。有点想给另一个他机会，担心还没放下，那不是对他不公平吗？？ 或许，一个人好了，不必那么烦！！哎。。。为什么那么多烦恼？？

今天小妹就会回学校了，我还跑去狂街。。弟弟叫我帮他买ext. hardisk, 有点懒，但又怕他来不及去买，所以就跑去帮他买咯。。幸好来得及哦！！“他”突然打电话给我，但无事不登三宝殿咯！！就是需要我的帮助啊！！哎！！闷阿！！为何每次都这样的。。利用我！！和他肯定是不可能，担心还是无法放下咯！！气自己。。下午两点多爸爸就在我去火车站。。不能睡哦。。。

today go to donate my blood, shoping at a/star mall, pc fair....ah ting buy laptop ad, i and mom go to s/kuala pasar pagi...waste so many money again....

a gal will go bec her campus, me will go bec tomolo...so sien wen think want go there...hopenew semester will got new start...hope everything will going good... hahaha (@@,)

today go helo my fren straight her hair...oso eat so many delicius thing like ice kacang, cendol...n many2....hahaha...very happy..."t" meassage me that need him sent me to train station or not, bt most like my family sent me go lo, can meet more time mah..tomolo elder sis come back n my 1st sis will going back...tomolo wish can donate blood, n shoping, just pokai liao lo,....haiz ar...

today is rainning day, just stay at home whole day...so bored, bro accident again...huhu...just tis time not so serius...mmm....haiz leh....just left few day then need go back to t.m, actually i not so hate the t.m, just dun noe y will feel scare when think want going back there....arg....today "B" was go to work ad...

today meet "B" at s/kuala there, mmm...dun noe is good or not ?? dun know he will disappointed mah? ....jz go for drink...mom cook masak merah...huyoh, i feel so kenyang when think of this.... he ask me still dun noe who give him my num, n i say i noe ad... v chat a lot, he alway say i got bf, ask me borrow my h/p for him, ask me the guy like me handsome or not?? hahha...but i n him will difcult to meet liao, coz he work at Kl n i study at t.malim, atleats not like last time p.c lo...only silent nia... at nite go to grandpa house. he sms me say want meet after when i come back from t.m, n he come back from KL...
"t" sms me ask me buy a phone ad, i tell him i just use my bro old phone, he say want bring me go buy one phone...bt for wat?? v just fren, n my phone still can use, i say no need...should me stop sms with him liao, i scare will got any miss understanding...
at nite b4 12.00am, go to see the flower open with mom n dad...hahha..such crazy but happy moment, oso capture tat pic and put in fb...
aiyoh...tis friday, a/s mall got program donate blood, and oso pc fair... hope can donate the blood, so when go t.malim no need to donate lo...
last time got fren lie me, maybe she dun noe, but i still memember, make me cant trust her so much now....so, never lie me!! i haiz ppl lie me....!!!

dunnoe y？ very missing for him, alway thinking for the way to contact him, i noe he will accept my call, but i not have any reason for calling him, except i just telling that i wish to chat with him...?? but impossible i will do this lo...hahaha...nvm, just let this feel hide in my heart...maybe until i die he will dunnoe this secret...need start keep my thing ad, standby going to study, start my new semester liao....huhu...maybe this sem i still will cry, n sad going there, coz now my house just left my brother alone with my mom n dad, other member in my family was going other place for work n oso study.....my house will become silent liao....wish to come back again to my lovely house at this september....

爱与被爱？？？

有人问我：“被爱比较幸福还是爱人比较幸福？？”
我回答：“两者都不幸福，只有相爱才是最幸福”
那人说：“被人疼爱不幸福吗？”
我回答：“如果被自己爱的人疼爱，当然幸福！！但如果被自己不爱的人疼爱，那只会让我觉得亏欠了他，对他不公平啊！我只懂得接受他的爱，却不懂得为它付出我的爱。。。。”
那人说：“那爱人呢？为何也不幸福？？”
我说：“爱一个不爱自己的人会让自己迷失了自己，自己不断的复出，对方却不在乎，那感觉会是幸福吗？？”
这是个人的看法，或许有人会觉得~“爱一个人也可以很幸福， 付出不一定要有收获。。。” 这句话，我也赞同，这一丁点的幸福，背后藏着多少心痛，伤心，失望。。。。只有自己最了解吧！！
所以相爱才是最幸福的，为一个自己爱，也疼爱自己的人付出，包容，心疼， 关心。。。都是幸福，因为彼此的心里都有着自己。。。

(@@)

now ad is 8.30pm....my mood is become more good ad...
classmate hv chat with me that she ad reach campus ad...so early, hear she reach campus, i noe is meaning my new semester will begin...scare, excited, sad,..all feel is coming out...my dearest sister was going to study at UUM ad, she begin her new life....dad n mom was company her going there ...

cant sleep....

today wake up early, cant sleep well at night...worry for my green tea and coffee, the stock still left, n i want go for study ad...working without any salary, just got the coffee and green tea....sad....oso worry for going bec to study, worry for money, worry for many2 thing...suddenly got so many thing to worry... yesterday night " t" sms me , i ask who are ? coz i change my phone, and his number was gone, unsave... i dun know who r him, then he say will buy a phone for me... but for wat?? if i accept tat mean i have debt him...i really feel i and XX is totally different...she ask me go out with "T" , ask "T" buy everything, but y?? i will like i debt him, i just use him only...i cant...except i n him not only a fren, then i will do tat...but now, NO ...i will not do this.... just i not understand, is me got problem or she ?? or maybe my thinking is too konservatif...nvm, tat me.... but i noe, i and "T" will be the impossible....tat y i dun want use his money....

mmm...just left few day i will going bec to study, i so scare for going bec, n i noe i cant escape for going there except i meet a big problem make me cant going bec....dun noe when can come bec agin?? my mood so down today, until no mood to talking with everyone....sad...(@@)

today mood...

今天开心？伤心？ 都没有。。。只是有些失望。。。为什么？？ 因为我身边的朋友会给于支持， 但要好的朋友却没有。。。 可能他也有烦恼吧！！ 可能我太敏感吧！！ 但他总让我感觉他在利用我！！至于利用我什么，也不说了。。。希望自己真的是他敏感吧，想太多。。。

卖咖啡不顺利，好烦啊！！但真的很感激我的好朋友捧场，帮我买，至少让我感觉雪中送炭，真的。。。（@@）。。至于是谁？？ 哈哈哈。。如果他们有来我的blog看就知道咯！！哈哈。。。

伤心？？有吗？？ 至少没那么痛吧！！

这今天都有见到他上网，只是，一直等等等。。。希望他会找我谈天，但没有！！我上网没多久他就下线了。。。为何痛了还不放手？？ 今天要把那些咖啡和茶还给cindy叻， 就不必再卖了！！我口才不好，很难卖到！！有种感觉让我觉得他好像知道了！！但，可能使我太敏感吧！！真的宁愿为钱而烦也不愿为他而烦！！还不想去t.malim咯！！ 我方又都去了，让我感觉里去学校的时间也越来越靠近了。。。去读书，还是看不清自己未来的路！！mmm....